A divorce is never just about the couple. It affects each other’s families as well. However, the people most affected might very well be the children belonging to the couple. In many cases of truancy and convicts, coming from a broken home where their parents have divorced seem to be a common background for them. It is therefore imperative that when divorce is contemplated, the children’s welfare is placed first and foremost.
Children are likely to be traumatized when their parents are about to get a divorce. The love and security which they need is seen to be taken away and it is therefore important how you should react in front of your children. It is important that they be assured that they are still loved by both parents and that they be appraised on what is happening and why it has to happen.
Fighting or arguing with one another in front of children is a bad mistake. Not only will this be frightening and disturbing to the children, it may leave a mental scar on them and cause them to despise one of the parents for a long time. If at all you disagree with your spouse, take up your disagreement in private and away from the children’s earshot. Telling your children about how bad the other parent is can be irresponsible. The issue is between the parents and the children should not be dragged into it.
Unless there is danger of abuse or other valid grounds, children should not be kept away from the other parent. Afterall, both parents belong to the children and they have every right to have access to both parents at all times. Hence, after a divorce, the children should be encouraged to continue to keep in touch with the other parent so as to keep the parental bond notwithstanding the couple has fallen out with one another. Where possible, go out on picnics or short trips together so that the children can experience the warmth and love from both parents.
Do not distance yourself from your children even though you are divorced from your former spouse. They still require your parental love, comfort and assurance. Keeping in close communication with them helps to build their self-esteem and in a way, minimizes the impact of the divorce. It is no doubt difficult to do so when you have to cope with the mental anguish of a divorce proceeding and having to readjust your life but your children are innocent parties in this unfortunate divorce. In worst case scenarios, consider bringing the child for therapy or counseling so that the child does not go into depression.
In the midst of your divorce, don’t forget your children’s welfare.